I want a freaking 4.0


But I'm half dead trying to be above 3.0



Memang rasa macam betul-betul akan di'sembelih' dengan result Math 215. Allah. tak tahu nak rasa macam mana.



Doa lagi kuat. Itu je yang boleh buat sekarang. Untuk yang terbaik, dan supaya redha dengan semua yang bakal tertulis kelak.


Hakikatnya, tekanan perasaan sekarang sangat kuat. Mungkin ini sebagai peringatan, agar masa digunakan sebaiknya. Dan masa itu hak mutlak milik Allah.

The conversation.

I like being with one of my senior.

She somehow, makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. But I am feeling a much more real side of life with her. A more meaningful truths.

a friend

"Fana, awak tahu tak haritu time kiteorg nak buat rumah kaler semua, then Zafri dia bgn amek berus lah kan. Before dia nak kaler lps tu dia nyanyi,


Why this kolaveri kolaveri di.

Kiteorang semua gelak gile, sbb dia nyanyi sungguh2."


-________________-" I don't know him.

I have my reasons. You don't need to know.

And I will forever hate guys.



It will be the same. I never believe any guys since I was in Al-Amin. Until I got to Taylors. And it starts to change recently. I'm slowly reverting to what I felt 5 years ago.



Because I just hate them.

Exhausted

5 more chapters for organic chemistry.

10 subtopic for calculus.

8 chapters for violent weather.


all for next week. I did not have my sleep tonight. really. I'm not joking at all.





At the moment, I feel like I'm getting far away. I don't know why.

no title

Assalamualaikum,

This week was not so well. Am dwelling with frustrations over the weekend and in search of ways to improve the faith contains inside this soul.


Perhaps, this is the reason. To test my faith. Easier said than done. And now it is time for me to prove what I have been saying to people and to myself especially, all this while.


For once, I hope I can stop complaining how miserable I am to my friends. For once, I hope I can stop crying in front of people and let it out in front of Him instead. For once, I hope no worldly matters can shake me till I am totally off the ground and trying to stand back again.

The world does not revolves around you. and be more grateful instead.

I'm not going to stop. No.



We texted after one week not talking to each other. I told him that I want the invitation to his iron ring ceremony. Save one for me. If I am still here. And he said he will and I will. He said he is tired. Tired with "masalah hati" and studies.

I wonder. What does he meant by masalah hati ? Maybe. His feeling for her is still lingering in his heart. And whatever it is, I pray the best for him.







The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Crybaby

Maybe, Allah is trying to show me something. It is just that I have been denying it for almost a year. I saw what happened. I experienced it. And I try to brush off the fact. 

Whatever he have done, whatever he said, whatever he saw,to him I am just his friend. A friend. Nothing more than that. I should let it go by now. It have been 2 years now. How long do you want to hold on to something that is not true. 

We are just not meant for each other. We are not.

Yes. I'm a friend. Nothing more than that. It is just me overwhelmed with my own feeling and fascination.

A friend. Yesterday, today and future, will always remain being a good friend.

No. I am not crying. It is just that my fever is getting worked up.  I cry when I am sick.

Crybaby.

Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.  (2:216)