Hati itu satu

Stress. Bukan sebab study.
Itu yang paling stress sekali. Sebab stress bukan sebab study.



Do I need to be stressed for unnecessary reasons?



*sighing*


Rimas. Kenapa semua orang perlu cakap nama dia? Macam mana saya nak simpan ketat-ketat perasaan saya ni kalau terlalu banyak tujahan-tujahan emosi yang dilemparkan. emosi yang mengembangkan mungkin?


Bila senyum salah.
Bila diam salah.
Bila senyum dan diam salah.
Bila menafikan salah.



Semuanya tak menjadi.



Rasa nak menangis.

Yang berkuasa membolak balikkan hati manusia

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah


and more of Alhamdulillah. n_n


Without Him, we are nothing. The only reason why we are so significant in this world is because of Him.






Esok, ada exam organic chemistry. Doakan saya semua orang.



Oh. And I did not celebrate valentine's day. Because I don't truly understand it. And because I'm not sure where does it stand in Islam. Hence, I chose to ignore it.


I did not get hyped up because of ridiculous expectations. Is just that. I need someone to accompany me to study yesterday.


Organic chemistry is so cool.

A

Ummi. Esok pagi fana exam midterm violent weather. Ummi doakan fana dapat A untuk subjek ni insya'allah.

4 letter

can we just get married? everyone is getting married.




and I just knew that one my friend has gotten engaged. that's what someone told me. knowing her, prolly is it against her personal conscious to have a boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure she is engaged with someone.



I want to get married. I do. I want to be able to hold and kiss your hand when I am done praying. To be able to stare at your face and feel so blessed and grateful for Allah has given one of the most beautiful gift in my life. To be able to share with you anything.


I want it to be halal for us. I'm serious with you. My feelings are pure and sincere.

I love you. For the sake of Allah. And therefore, I shall wait. If we are not meant to be only Allah knows the best reason behind it.

Worried

2015. 24 years old.

I never have much thought about my future. I know I dream big on everything. Sometimes I don't even think it make sense at all. 

From what has been planned before, I'm suppose to graduate on 2014 in Bsc. engineering. But, it turns out that, me and engineering is not a good combination. I lost one year of my academic year. Right now I'm trying to get myself to Faculty of Science, Bsc specialization in Chemistry. 

2012/2013 will be my second year

2013/2014 will be my third year

2014/2015 will be my fourth year

I can't possibly take 6 courses in one semester in order to graduate within 2 year. And I have to do a research on my final year. Insha'allah if my scholarship will be re-instated, it will be until 2014 only.

And how am I going to do my final year on 2015?  I know, it's such a long stretch. But if I don't think about it now, then, when should I think about it. I couldn't help not to feel worried.  What should I do...

I want to do my internship. I want to do summer job. I want to be a chemist in the industrial field. I honestly do. People said, why rush when you know how it's going to end. But if I'm not rushing, what am I going to do? 

2017/2018 Master

2018/2021 PhD

And after all that, it will be like when I'm 30 years old. When am I going to get married. T.T

I never resent 2010/2011. In fact it have taught me so many things. 

When things fall apart.

Why is it so hard to be nice?




I refuse to say anything after this. And I should learn to hide my emotions.

Medical Bracelet

You know, I think when I was 14, I was down with asthma attack. My parents were performing hajj at that time . My grandmother and my aunt were responsible for taking care of me and the siblings.

It was so bad, that I couldn't even get up from bed. I felt like I'm dying. I don't remember if I went to the clinic but I couldn't eat anything. Because I don't even have the energy to eat. That was how bad it is.

My last asthma attack was the time when I was doing my volunteering works at the National Zoo. Lol. What a name. Ok. It was not as bad as when I was 14. But still. I have so much difficulties in breathing. 

It kinda strucked me if I'll ever have an asthma attack here. Would people even notice that I'm having my asthma? It was so long since I've had one. Nobody knew exactly that I have asthma. They only knew I'm allergic to NSAIDS. Which is just the beginning of the story.

I'm allergic to penicillin as well. And the matter of fact, I have a strain of another antibiotics that I'm allergic to but I have never been exposed to it. So. No one knows which strain of antibiotic it is. And I'm allergic to cephalosporins. One of the most potent antibiotics for infections.

That's why. It's so vital for me. Not to get sick at all. Even when the doctors saw my medical bracelet, they will cringe before they said what should they prescribed for me. At the end of the day, I'm only allowed to take paracetamol or acetaminophen (panadol or tylenol).

The reason why I wrote all this? I don't know. Prolly because if anything happened to me, and if by any chance someone is reading this, they might help me. I don't think people even realised that I'm wearing a medical bracelet. They thought I'm a fan of rock or hard core or something and that's why I wear this hideous looking bracelet -..- seriously. 

Therefore, helping injured people 101, check them to see if there is any indication that they are prone to any particular conditions. It's important to be highly observant because you don't want to end up killing them. 

Anaphylaxis is a fatal allergic reaction. That's what going to happen if I take all the medicine listed above excluding paracetamol and acetaminophen.